Almost Fabulous

The things we women go through to look good. I’m sitting in my stylist's chair getting a much needed transformation. Girl, give me the works: wash, color, cut, and locks! It’s my birthday weekend and I want to look fabulous. Plus, I want to look good for any potential job interviews next week.

What is it about coming to the salon and getting pampered? Honestly, my favorite part is getting my hair washed. All the past drama and stress streams from my hair into the wash bowl; it’s uplifting. And then the scalp massage during the conditioning treatment; it feels like new ideas and creativity are being worked and molded into my system. AHHH, a fresh start!

As I pan across the salon I’m wondering what has brought the other women here for a mane make-over and mental nip and tuck. We come here not only to look fabulous but to feel fabulous. This is the one place we can let our hair down –literately-- and be ourselves. We talk about it all…work, family, relationships, and the latest sales at the mall. One sister many speak out on a situation all of us are going through and we all come together with a solution, group therapy any one? Or sometimes, we come to relax and not talk or think about anything at all. Whatever the reason, these moments with our sister-friends and or brother-friends are priceless.

When I need to refresh my look and mind, Lisa’s chair is my solitude. I love chatting with the ladies as Lisa’s magical hands transforms my look. And from the moment she turns the chair around to the mirror and I see the renewed me…the pick me up is instant. I’m thinking…I should have done this weeks ago.

I’ve gone from Almost Fabulous to Totally Fabulous in two hours flat. Happy Birthday to me!

If you are in the South Florida area, check out Lisa Cummings at Salon Ménage in Pembroke Pines.

Yoga for Beginners (VIDEO)

For the past two years I've been taking yoga class on and off. Yoga is a great exercise because it reduces stress, relaxes your mind, and connects you with your inner-self. A 2008 study by the Harris Interactive Service Bureau on behalf of Yoga Journal shows that 15.8 million people, practice yoga. Of current non-yoga people nearly 18.3 million Americans, say they are extremely interested in yoga, triple the number from the 2004 study.

So if you ever wanted to learn Yoga, here is a great video to get your started. Begin the new year with a new practice that will improve your well being. It's perfect for Me Time.

Mary J. Blige on Getting Fit

The music superstar reveals her 6 secrets for transforming mind, body, and soul:

Embrace exercise, even if you hate it. "I do not love it," Blige says. "I appreciate what it does for me. And I wish there was a pill you could take that could do everything that is in that gym." But she finds that putting in her time on a hard cardio workout pays off later on stage with better endurance and stamina. "All that stuff that you hate that you do, it pushes you further," she says. "It makes me feel like a rocket, almost."

Set realistic goals. Blige dropped 9 pounds in three months and is trying to lose another 10 to get her 5'5'' frame down to 125, which she thinks is her ideal weight. To get there, she sets a daily calorie limit of 1,500 and tries to work out five times a week. That's a very realistic goal, and a realistic calorie total for someone as active as Blige, says Bonnie Taub-Dix, RD, a New York dietitian who often helps celebrities deal with weight issues. "She's avoiding the mistake many people make, dropping calories below 1,200, which makes it next to impossible to fulfill your nutritional needs," Taub-Dix says.

Celebrate small victories. To motivate herself, Blige bought a pair of too-small size 28 jeans and dubbed them her "goal jeans." She'd try them on, and they wouldn't fit. She admits to feeling disgusted with herself. Blige promised herself, "If I can't fit in those jeans soon, I am giving them away." But she didn't give up. And within a few months, they fit. "I was so happy!" she says. "Goal" clothing is good motivation, Taub-Dix says. She tells clients to hang that too-tight dress they are dying to get into in plain view. "If you live by yourself, hang it in the kitchen, near the refrigerator."

Inspire yourself. Blige's personal trainer is Gregg Miele, a New York City-based personal trainer who's also worked with artist Shawn "Jay-Z" Carter, actor Chloe Sevigny, Sports Illustrated model Lujan Fernandez, and other celebrities trying to fit a regular exercise routine into a hectic, globe-trotting schedule. Miele posts motivational sayings in front of Blige's treadmill so she can read them as she works out. Her favorite: "What you eat in private shows up in public." Miele has other tricks, including giving his clients a black wristband stamped with "self discipline." His clients see them constantly throughout their day and are reminded to follow good health habits, whether that means saying no to dessert or making it to the gym.

Acknowledge your weaknesses. And focus on your strengths,she adds. Blige loves7 salt and also has a wicked sweet tooth. "The only sweets I hate are black jelly beans and black licorice." But thankfully, she also loves vegetables --cucumbers, tomatoes, asparagus, broccoli, okra, corn, zucchini, spinach, and cabbage. "Raw, cooked, it doesn't matter." And she makes sure to drink plenty of water. She also tries hard to not get down on herself. Her trainer helps her see weaknesses in a whole new light when he tells her and other clients, "Weaknesses are goals to work on in the long-term."

Appreciate your uniqueness. On Blige's new album, one song is called "Work That." The premise, she says, is this: "Whatever I have, I am going to make it work for me. I don't have what everyone else has, but whatever I have I am going to make it work." Miele heartily agrees this is a good attitude when working out, too. Because he works often with celebrities, he sometimes hears from other clients that they want so-and-so's great arms or another star's awesome abs. He advises them, as Blige has learned, to focus on their great or unique body parts -- and make improving the other parts long-term goals.

6 Steps To Being Less Overwhelmed In 2009

The hustle of life/work balance can be taxing. Take a new direction this year and put your life in check. Life Coach Jason Mannino has put together 6 Steps to make your 2009 less overwhelming. Print them, Share them, Live them.

1. Stop!
Often times we become impatient. We want to go from planting the seed of a new dream to having the dream a reality. As a result, I know, personally, if I am not careful I will rush into action without taking the time to engage the steps outlined below. If this is true for you too, stop!

2. Breathe
As I continued looking in the mirror I began intentionally focusing on my breath, which allowed me to start to relax and focus on the present moment. Focused breathing reminded me that I am in partnership with a Grand Organizing Designer (GOD) that has never let me down before. I was feeling inspired. The root of the word inspiration is inspire. Inspire also means to take air into the lungs. Therefore, consider that when you are breathing you are inspiring yourself, which will support you in any new endeavor. Also, when your attention is on the present moment you can't be overwhelmed. Parts of the definition of overwhelm states, "to overcome in mind." The reason you can be "overcome in mind," is because you allow yourself to get entrenched in thoughts about everything other than the
present moment.

3. Self-Trust
I experience impatience with gestation as a lack of trust. I have found in my personal work and work with others that this is an extension of a lack of self-trust. Many of the endeavors I am currently engaged in for the New Year are things that I have never done before. With this in mind I am gentle with myself in the knowledge that there is a normal fear of the unknown present. However, I also engage in self-support by releasing self-judgment. For instance, I have had a judgment present about whether or not I am capable of success, particularly with something I have never done before. I release the judgment and know that I have achieved at least a modicum of success in everything I have set out to do. As a result, I am able to make the choice to trust myself and keep moving forward.

4. State your intention and clarify your goal.
After relaxing a bit I took a mental inventory of my intentions and goals. Before starting any project it is best to state your intention and clarify your goal. Every action taken after stating the intention and clarifying your goal is taken with a vision of your overall purpose. I reminded myself that past, clearly stated intentions have helped bring success with more velocity.

5. Map it
After stating your intention and clarifying your goal, map all of your milestones and actions. Include your resources and team in your map. Mapping will also bring velocity and vision to every action you take. You will experience much more ease in your work with a project map. In my case my maps have been created. Sometimes you have to remember to include in your calendar a weekly review of all of your plans and track to your goals. This was the lesson for me. My attention has been pulled by the holidays and so had not made time recently to review my maps.

6. Visualize
When you have stated your intention, clarified your goal, and mapped it, spend a few minutes visualizing. Visualizing your goals as if you have already reached them helps move you into co-creation. Co-creation is the symbiotic relationship that results when you move into partnership with spirit. It will also raise your vibration to the level needed to attract your success.

The experience of being overwhelmed mostly comes from a fear of the unknown, lack of self-trust, and not being fully present. Today I reminded myself of what Mark Twain eloquently said. He said that courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is the willingness to experience fear, resist it, and keep moving forward. When you clarify goals and map your project you can move forward with a vision of where you are headed. I feel strongly that deliberate action also helps to cure fear. My wish for you is that you gently engage these steps to manage any overwhelm that comes your way, choose courage, and take action to turn your dreams into reality in 2009. (Source: The Huffington Post)

Happy New Year!!!

You are POWERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, JOYFUL, and RICH with LIFE!

This year is destined to be your greatest year.

May your 2009 be everything you can image to the point where you have so much happiness it runs over like a magnificent fireworks show. You are full of infinite possibilities. With this day begin your extended weekend New Year celebration. Everyday do something that brings you joy and happiness. Like reading a book, going to a gathering, giving yourself a mani/pedi, or just catch up with friends. Share your joy with your family, boo, sister friends and loved ones.

We look forward to bring you the best in lifestyle, entertainment and self-love in the New Year. Shine in 2009!!!

-Working Divas Staff

Me Time Moments

Need a break at work? Take five minutes and think about something that makes you happy and brings you joy. Perhaps it’s looking at the sun kiss the ocean during a sunset, the time you spend with family, memories of riding your bike as a kid, those stole moments relaxing in a bath or shower, or maybe, it’s simply that FREE latte your co-worker gave you last week. Whatever it is…take a moment, tune out everything around you and really focus on what brings happiness to your life. During your thoughts, breathe in and out slowly through your noise, massage your temples and smile. You can do this anytime you need to refresh your mind and soul with positive energy during the workday. Take the joy of your thoughts with you through out your day.

Do you have a Me Time Moment? Share them by leaving a comment.

Get out of the YES trap

Ladies, this article by Karen Leland is right on point. If you feel overwhelmed...maybe your caught in the YES trap.

You're standing around the water cooler minding your own business when your co-worker from the next cubicle starts pleading with you to organize next month's holiday office party. Your brain does a quick game of connect the dots and realizes that between next weeks sales presentation and your Aunt Joan's visit, the inevitable answer must be no. As you open your mouth to say "I'm sorry I wish I could, but I can't," you do a 180 degree turn around and out spills " I would be happy to." Why is it that such a small two-letter word can be so difficult to say?
The key is to learn to say "yes" to the right things and "no" to the wrong ones. That's easier to do if you understand the following four saying yes traps and their solutions.
Trap #1: Good Candy. Remember when you were a kid and there was always one house on the block that handed out really good Halloween candy? Your plans always included a visit to that address. Even as an adult, no one wants to feel like they are missing out. Say you get invited to the movies, or you are asked to be part of a task team at work. Instead of saying I'm too tired or busy, you say yes for fear that if you decline you might miss an opportunity. Marjorie Brody author of Career Magic: A Women's Guide to Reward and Recognition says, "We are afraid that if we say no, we might miss a chance to be recognized for our talents or seen as someone who is willing to jump in and help out. We don't want to be the only one not going to the party." Smart Solution: When you want to participate but the timing or scope is wrong, you can always offer an option or ask for a rain check. Try saying "I'd love to be asked at another time."
Trap #2: Bad Guy. Saying no is not just a problem of the willy-nilly and weak-kneed. Feeling an internal pressure to say yes has nothing to do with education, success or smarts. The fear is that if you say no, you might be perceived as unfriendly, uncooperative or not a team player. If you say no and someone gets angry, accept it and apologize for their hurt feelings, but not your decision to take care of yourself. Smart Solution: Let the other person know you empathize with their situation or feelings. Try saying, "I know how important this is and I feel bad, but I'm not in a position to say yes."
Trap #3: You Like Me. Wow they want you to be in charge of the team ski trip to Mount Saint Helens. Of course you are flattered, who wouldn't be? Everyone wants to be liked and likes to be wanted. The opportunity to be part of a group is rewarding but even things that are fun can become a burden if you're overextended. Smart Solution: In this 24/7 can-do culture the pressure to say yes to everything can be overwhelming. Create a boundary that lets other people know when you have reached your time, energy and attention limits. Try Saying "I have to many other things on my plate right now."
Trap #4: Got Guilt. Sure your local church or synagogue could really use your help -- and your sister in law definitely needs someone to watch the kids. If you find yourself saying yes because you are worried about hurting someone else's feelings, or think your being selfish by saying no, you're caught in a trap. "For many of us it's a knee jerk reaction to be constantly thinking about the people in our life. When the requests come in we have been trained to say yes." Says Helen Lerner author of Time for Me: A Burst of Energy for Busy Women. Smart Solution: When you are asked to do something you really don't want to do, draw a clear line in the sand. Try saying "I don't want to do that."
Take The 'Yes' Trap Quiz
How often are you caught in the yes trap? You might be surprised. The more of these questions you answer 'true' to, the more you need to recover your ability to just say no and regain the balance in your life. Circle true or false:
1. I often say yes for fear of missing out on something.
True / False
2. I frequently worry that if I say no I might hurt someone's feelings.
True / False
3. I often think if I say no I may be viewed as uncooperative or not a team player.
True / False
4. I frequently feel guilty when I say no, especially if I can see what is needed.
True / False
5. I want people to like me so I often say yes, even when I don't really have the time or energy.
True / False
6. In general it makes me feel uncomfortable to say no.
True / False
***
Karen Leland is author of the recently released book "Time Management In An Instant: 60 Ways to Make the Most of Your Day."(source)

FEEL GOOD: Put Yourself First

I was driving home one evening with my radio cranked to HOT 105 of course, when a song I've played on my radio show for years consumed me. It struck a nerve like Chicken Little dodging elimination on American Idol.

As I was singing along to Jaheim's "Put that Woman First," (hey what women doesn't want to sing at the top of her lungs...you better put that women first!) I had to ponder on the thought, when was the last time I did something for myself? Hummm… for a few hours on my birthday, about 10 minutes last night during my shower, right now during my ride home. Through my quick analysis, I discovered I had not put myself first in a long time.

You know ladies; we were born to be nurturers. We put everyone and everything in the forefront of our lives; our children, our men, our jobs, our friends, and our family. It is time ladies that we put ourselves on center stage in the production of our lives. And truly set the stage for truly living abundantly.

I thought living abundantly meant being a super-wife, super-mom, super-friend, super-daughter, super-radio host and skillfully multi-tasking everything on my to-do list. I was the actress, director, and producer of my one-woman show thinking I was doing it. I may have gotten everything completed by the end of the day, but I was run down and stressed out. That's no way for a Working Diva to conquer the world.

Now when the opening credits roll at the beginning of my day, I start with a shorter to-do list and less time giving of myself to everyone and everything. This gives me time to catch up with my sister friends, write in my journal after two years, or lay out on my balcony and just chill. There is nothing wrong with taking an intermission. ME TIME anyone?

Don't let another day go by without at least giving yourself time to energize or regroup. A restful mind is a productive mind. Don't let the curtain close on your day before you have had the chance to give to yourself.

So, that same day once I arrived home… I poured myself a glass of White Merlot, toasted to myself...and took center stage. Thanks Jaheim!

Now when the credits roll your day…what will you say you’ve done for yourself?

FEEL GOOD: Control

Do you remember being that young sister who yearned for control and independence? In 1986 when Janet Jackson came out with the song “Control” it was our theme song. I’m all grown up, ready and ABLE to take on the world. Responsibility, relationships, school, working, family…I GOT IT. At that age it appeared so easy to be our "own woman."

Once we have taken the “reigns of control," we think we have won! We say to our parents (in our minds of course) HA! So why is it when we step out into the real world and begin to live life, we let others take the Control we so desperately wanted to claim? Whether it is your significant other, a manager on the job, a co-worker, or a so-called friend, these control grabbers are all around us. It’s time to put them in check!

When you allow others to have control, you are stifling your growth as an individual. Fears and hang-ups can stray you away from truly living the life you are suppose to lead. Instead of Gaining Control you Lose Control. Let me tell you, the only thing I want to lose are these last 10 pounds of pregnancy weight! OK, that’s another posting. Any whooo…

In order for you to have the life you are meant to have; you must reclaim control over your most valuable asset…YOU. Regardless of your situation, you can make a difference in your life today. Don’t let others dictate your importance, your thoughts, your time, your desires, your passion, or your career. You are perfectly capable of running the business of You, INC. As the chief executive officer of your life, put at the top of your to do list everyday; “I have the love and confidence in myself to make all decisions regarding (insert your name)." Girlfriend, it’s time for you to call your own shots.

Think back at being that young sister listening to Janet’s song “Control.” How did it make you feel: empowered, strong, confident, all of the above? Take those emotions and put them to work positively towards your better good. You are in the driver’s seat taking the journey of your life to greater heights. You have it going on, you are incredible, you are loved, you are fabulous, and by all means...you are in CONTROL!

Feel Good: Reflections

Monday mornings are always the craziest for me as I try to get back into the work week swing. Especially since my son has been in a body cast for the past month from breaking his leg. Needless to say, it has been a stressful summer so far. I had finally gotten everything into the car: baby, backpack, wheel chair, pillows, lunch, laptop and of course...my cell phone. I didn't get a chance to check it all morning because of my mommy morning Olympics. I glanced at the phone and noticed I missed three calls. One of which really concerned me... a call from my good friend and webmaster Alan at 6AM. I had to brace myself when I called him back to learn that K - Swift had past away.

K-Swift and I worked together in radio at 92Q in Baltimore. Just hours before Alan’s call, she was involved in a pool accident at her home. To know that this young woman of only 29 had been taken so earlier left me speechless as I looked back at my son in the car seat. K - Swift was more that a night-time personality. She was the ultimate example of having a burning desire to succeed.

I remember Swift as the humble go-getter that waited in the wings for her debut center stage. Once she got her time to shine, she was unstoppable. She accomplished so much in her short life; producer, radio personality, record pool director, and CEO of her own company. The last time I saw K-Swift was in May of 2005 in Miami. She looked radiant and was loving life.

Loving life is a lesson we can all learn. So as my husband and I brought our son to camp for a few hour to visit his friends, I was reminded how blessed we are as a family, broken leg, and all. Each day is a gift. Don’t let office politics, family drama, or uncomfortable situations overwhelm you. Grow from them and create a life you’ll LOVE.

K-Swift, so beautiful, so talented, so LIVING the GOOD LIFE in HEAVEN. R.I.P. baby girl!

FEEL GOOD: Venus & Serena...An Inspiration

Welcome to my first blog submission, my little place in the world to speak up and speak out. Thanks to my radio and internet listeners for all your support and love.

Over the holiday weekend I had the pleasure of watching Venus and Serena Williams play against each other for the Wimbledon Championship. It was an intense match. As I was watching these two working divas from the comfort of my couch, I could see the determination and passion in both of their eyes. Venus and Serena were playing as if failure wasn’t an option. That is kind of amazing when it is your sister on the other side of the net. Each wanted the golden ring by all means necessary.

So, in watching them I was inspired. Inspired to take their cue and live life as if failure isn’t an option. We are all destined for greatness. Success isn’t lurking behind the wall or waiting in a golden box. It is right in front of you ready to take action. If something is holding you back you have to take it on. Just like the William’s sisters, when something other than success comes your way take the tennis racket of your life and hit it back over the net. If it is fear holding you back hit it back over the net. If it is procrastination hit it back over the net. When worry taps you on the shoulder hit it back over the net. When the overcast of doubt comes your way hit it back over the net.

In this moment, it’s your serve…you have no obstacles; your passion and positive thoughts will set you on the right course. Find comfort in your family and positive driven sisterfriends (or brotherfriends). Take the tennis racket of your life and serve love, desire, faith and persistence. You have the power. Success is yours today. Let this be your mantra: Failure isn’t an option, Success is the only option.

As always,
There’s work to do...GET UP!
-Karen